On Leadership: From the Margins
When I first started writing on Medium, my first publication was Th-Ink Queerly run by Darren Stehle. I quickly became a prolific writer for the publication and started a serialized fiction with a tremendous amount of help from my editor and good friend James Finn. Everything was good. We were a community that supported and encouraged each other. I don’t remember how long I was writing for TQ, but I thoroughly enjoyed it.
One day, I was headed into work when I noticed that James was no longer an editor of Th-Ink Queerly. I hastily made my way to my office while shooting James a message about what was going on. He calmly explained that Darren had removed him from the publication he helped build without so much as a word. I tapped my way to my message thread with Darren to ask why he’d been removed.
You know what Darren told me?
He said he removed James. James — the man that joined TQ when it was just Darren and had been there ever since. James — the man that used fiction he could’ve sold for profit on TQ and helped Darren build the publication from the ground up. James — the first person to always post someone else’s post and encourage people to read, clap, and tweet.
You know what Darren said in the group chat later when he was addressing everyone else?
That James removed himself, and that James was making TQ look bad. Meanwhile, all James has said was if anyone wants him to still edit their fiction. All James did was find another place for the LGBTQ Fiction Project for the authors that wanted to keep him as an editor. He never said anything bad about Darren or TQ after he was removed without a word. I’m not saying that to give him a cookie though. I’m saying that because it’s the exact opposite of what the other side chose to do. Since the incident, at least 3 Medium articles have been posted. Sure — if you didn’t know anything about TQ before that day, you wouldn’t have a clue who Darren was talking about. But us? We all knew.
Why did I stay silent this whole time?
It wasn’t because I didn’t want to. Anger sizzled in my veins. One of my friends had basically been stabbed in the back.
I stayed quiet because James asked me to. He said he didn’t want any drama, and that he only wanted to continue editing LGBTQ fiction. So I didn’t say a word when Darren lied to everyone else. I didn’t say a word when everyone believed James left after giving TQ a bad reputation. I didn’t say a word when multiple articles were posted talking about the incident, further painting James this man driven by rage. I didn’t say a word when Darren continued to badmouth James.
Contrary to what some people would like you to believe, James is one of the nicest people I know. He just doesn’t take shit from anyone. He doesn’t just fight for the rights of gay men; he fights for everyone’s rights.
I haven’t published with TQ since the incident, and I’m not the only one. It’s almost as if half the group just kind of left — at least it feels that way to me. Personally, I just couldn’t go back. TQ felt like family to me, and it just didn’t feel like family anymore after that. Darren likes to talk about leadership, but what kind of a leader tells one person one thing and then everyone else something different? Who goes on to write multiple pieces beating around the bush rather than just talk to that person? Even shitty bosses fire their own employees themselves — most of the time.
I mean, if you don’t agree how someone attacks a certain situation — fine. If you don’t want someone being an editor on your own publication, that’s your right and I fully respect that. But lying and dressing the situation up to make you look like you made a boss move? I don’t respect that at all. And sure — you can ask why I didn’t say this to him instead of this post. My answer? Because he didn’t go to James. He went to medium and everyone else.
I’m not writing this to say that Darren is a bad guy either.
I just think he went about it the wrong way. Darren was the first publication owner to let me write for them, and I’m forever grateful for that. I wrote a lot of great pieces under Darren and I grew as a writer. Th–Ink Queerly will always be a part of my writing journey, and it is still a solid place for LGBTQ voices to share their stories and experiences. It just didn’t feel the same without James. I feel like I have to stick up for my friend, who has remained silent despite everything.
For the record, after James was removed — he simply gave people an option to keep him as editor. When you give your work to someone else for them to edit, it’s not just a small gesture. It’s not the same as turning in homework. You’re trusting someone with an idea you poured your heart into. It becomes a special relationship: writer and editor. I wouldn’t want anyone else editing Anomaly for me.
*This piece is mine and mine only. No one asked me or encouraged me to write it. I wrote it on my own by my own beliefs. So, if anyone drops a comment attacking or blaming James or anyone else — just know that I’ll be the only one that sees it because I’ll take it down/hide it as soon as it pops up in my notifications.
I’m not going to rack my brain to remember everyone. However, here are the people I’ve been keeping up with and have been keeping up with me.
James Finn, Gloria Bates, Zayn Singh, Gwen Saoirse, Benny Phi, Terijo, Fred Shirley, Ikedi Oghenetega, Eric Griggs, Kay Bolden, Chloe Cuthbert
