Member-only story
If Loving You is Wrong
Then I’ve never been right
Sometimes I wonder if my love for you is wrong.
How could something so beautiful be wrong? I told myself I wouldn’t keep you a secret. People have been bullied and beaten into being terrified to love. I just couldn’t let that kind of fear leak into this. People are afraid to walk down the street holding hands. A gay couple got stabbed a couple days ago just for walking down the street holding hands. The question “Why?” keeps popping up in my like popcorn popping on the stove. Why would someone hurt someone else for showing love? People are tortured and killed for loving someone that society says they shouldn’t love.
When I realized that I loved you, I was terrified. I could feel the frigid hatred. It was like I had been dropped in the water polar bears fish in. I stared at the ceiling and watched the fan spend endlessly. The gentle whir did nothing to soothe me. When I looked up and saw you laughing, a bomb of happiness exploded in me. When I realized why, I felt like I had been pushed into a war with no gun. I remember being afraid to look at you. What if she finds out?
I pushed it deep down inside because I couldn’t risk it escaping. We are in the south where conversion camps are praised and being anything other than normal is a mental illness. I have…
